This was written by Amber Whitmire (Roady), Bro Jerry's daughter. It was written just days after her daddy passed away.

 Today for the first time instead of asking God why I actually said Thank you. Thank you for giving me my Daddy for 36 years. It is NEVER enough time but at least I got him. Having a dad in your life is a rarity these days it is sad to say. I had a friend say to me today: "I would have LOVED to have a loving caring dad for any amount of time, even a year. You got yours for 36 years!!" And she is right. I know that no one is perfect but my dad was very close to being the perfect father.

1. He was a great provider. MY family went through hard times. WE were not raised with lots of money or things but we never went without food, clothing, and a roof over our head. My father would do ANYTHING he had to in order to care for us. Whether it was sitting in an office till 2:00 AM, cutting trees, or re-roofing a house, we never did without.

 

 

2. He was a great disciplinarian.  – My dad was the quiet one in the house. 

 I honestly only heard him raise his voice twice in my life and it was never directed to me or my sisters.Once he was defending me and once he was rebuking Satan. But even though my dad was the quiet one we knew if Dad told us to straighten up he MEANT it!! I know my mom meant it too but for some reason my Dad’s quiet voice put more fear in me than anything my mom could say & do to me. When I turned 12 my mom went to spank me one time. She was holding on to my arm with one hand and had the belt in the other. I decided to grab her arm with the belt and there we were looped in a circle. 

 My mother started telling me to LET GO OF HER ARM!! I was like: “NO!!! You’re going to spank me!!! LET GO said mom! No I kept responding. By this time we are just going in circles and I mean literally we were walking in circles holding on to each other .My mom no matter how upset she is always had a great sense of humor and could laugh at any time, started laughing. So I started laughing. WHEW crisis adverted! Mom was laughing now. I was in the clear for smarting off!! The next thing I knew Dad came around the corner from the living room & in one swift motion had the belt out of mom’s 

 hand, me across the bed and I was GETTING MY SPANKING!!! I never remember mom spanking me after that but I remember plenty from Dad. The time we had to exit off the highway because I was showing attitude and we parked under a bridge so Dad could spank me, the time when I hid the belt and fought like a cat, the time I got his gun out to “get his attention” BOY did I get it. LOL Two I will never forget. Once I was acting horrendous at the church. We were getting ready for a revival and I definitely needed something. I KNEW I deserved it and I KNEW it was going to hurt. 

 Daddy took me to a classroom, put me over his knee and I tensed up waiting. Next thing I hear is a big WHACK but I felt nothing. Again WHACK but no pain. I look over my shoulder and my Dad is hitting his own leg with the belt as hard as he could. I could see the pain on his face. I started begging him to stop. I HATED seeing my Dad in pain and I did deserve the spanking!! But he would not stop. He gave himself the whole 10 whacks I deserved. I was sobbing by this point asking him why & to please stop. After he was done he took me in his lap which I KNEW had to be hurting and 

Our Oasis Baptist Church in Pryor Oklahoma Our Oasis Baptist Church in Pryor Oklahoma

Our Oasis Baptist Church in Pryor Oklahoma Our Oasis Baptist Church in Pryor Oklahoma

Our Oasis Baptist Church in Pryor Oklahoma Our Oasis Baptist Church in Pryor Oklahoma

Our Oasis Baptist Church in Pryor Oklahoma Our Oasis Baptist Church in Pryor Oklahoma

Our Oasis Baptist Church in Pryor Oklahoma Our Oasis Baptist Church in Pryor Oklahoma

he explained to me how Christ did that for us.  I actually accepted Christ at that revival a few days later. Another spanking I will never forget, I was probably 14 or 15 and my mom needed help with dishes. It was wintertime and cold and all I wanted was to stand in front of the heater so I told her no. I knew a spanking was going to come out of just straight saying no to mom but I decided I needed to take a STAND!! Who cares if she had cooked the whole dinner? I was not her slave! Surely they could only spank me so many times & I would teach them when I said no,....

 meant NO! So sure enough here comes Dad with the belt, in the bedroom we went, got my 10 licks, was told to go help mom, I said no and back to the heater I went! Dad came, got me from the heater, back to the bedroom, another 10 licks, help mom, no, back to heater. We did this little dance four times. My REAR hurt so bad I KNEW I was never going to be able to sit again but I HAD to stay strong!!! The fifth time Dad came to get me instead of him putting me across the bed, he set me in his lap and just held me & told me how much he loved me. I LOST IT!!! I started bawling. 

What was wrong with me???!!!! Why was I trying to teach my sweet gentle dad any lessons? I felt HORRIBLE. I just cried and cried and he held me & hugged me till I was all cried out. Then he told me to go help my mom with the dishes and I did.  I got many more spankings than that. My last one at age 17 but the funny thing is I have ZERO anger and animosity about it. My dad disciplined me in LOVE no matter what tool he used to do it in. 

 

3. My Dad allowed us girls to make mistakes.  Dad knew we were human and making mistakes is part of 

growing up. My dad never expected perfection out of us. He did expect respect and obedience but truly the most he ever asked of us was to listen to mom. LOL, so many parents these days expect their kids to do and achieve certain things and if they don’t live up to their expectations they are a disappointment to the parents. MY dad was NEVER disappointed in us. Maybe disappointed in our choices sometimes, but not US.

 

4. My dad was open minded. So many people just assume a preacher is stuck in what he believes and if you don’t do it his ways then you are 

WRONG and you are going to hell. My daddy was not like that. He said there will be Catholics, Holiness, Baptist, Methodist etc. in heaven. No matter what “religion” you were raised there is only one way to get to Heaven, through Jesus Christ. Doesn’t matter your “religion” My dad was always open to talk with anyone about their faith and never declared hatefully YOU ARE WRONG!!! In fact he welcomed the Jehovah Witness into his home with open arms. Of course once when he had a one Jehovah Witness questioning their beliefs he was put on the ban list and no one visited his house again. 

The following week they showed up at my sister’s house when my Dad was there. She never got “visited” again either. One time a friend of mine invited me to a revival at her mother’s faith. I was 15 and my mom did not want me to go but Dad said: “No let her go.” He wanted us to believe what we believed because we KNEW it to be truth, not just because he told us. I went with my friend and was actually scared. LOL I never had a desire to try that faith again. When people would talk to Dad, even us girls, he would listen & even say at times: “I have not considered that. I will have to think on that.” 

parent deems as right they are constantly griping at their grown up kid, putting their grown up kid down, pulling guilt trips, telling the child how horrible they are and the life choices they’re making are. Not my Dad. Of course he was concerned for us and his heart hurt but he still loved us unconditionally and SHOWED it!!! Not just SAID IT! There were times he would come and express his concern and worries but it was always done in a spirit of love. Not the spirit of anger or judgment.

Of course that did not mean he agreed or thought that way but he did not want anyone to think he was not truly listening to them because he always was.

 

5. My dad accepted that we kids were not just like him. I will admit that once we girls moved out of the home and married we have not always walked the straight and narrow. WE have not 100% followed in the way we were raised. I know it hurt Daddy and I HATE that but it did not stop him from spending time with us and enjoying us without judgment.  There are so many parents that if their kids are not living what the 

us by the ankles and just spinning us till we could stand up. I remember the trips to Galveston, and New Orleans, and the summer of Six Flags. I remember even after I was married him and me having a date night. Dinner, Lowes, and a late night stop at the Krispy Kreme for free doughnuts. I wish I had done that more often with him. My Dad did like to golf but I don’t remember him going off and golfing when we were little. His free time was with his family. Thanksgiving he would go hunting in the mornings but when I woke up he was back and we all stripped the birds together. If my Dad was not working he was with us.

6. My Dad spent quality time with us kids. My dad was the sole breadwinner in our home and he WORKED hard to provide for us. There were late hours & times he was gone but when Dad was at the house with us he was 100% with us. When I was very little, probably three…I remember Dad rolling us up in a blanket like a tamale in the living room and then flip the blanket and we would roll all the way across the floor laughing. I remember this trick he did with the invisible ball and a paper bag. Us kids could play that FOREVER and Daddy would with us. I remember in the summer time he took us out in the yard, grabbing

Dad never retaliated he just prayed and loved them. And when someone was ready to come back and make amends his arms were always open. 

 

8. My dad LOVED my mom. For more than four decades, probably from the moment he first noticed her at the roller rink in Texas, my dad loved my mom, and he let it show. He loved her completely. He loved her deeply, and he loved her unconditionally. Numerous times throughout my childhood I can remember my mom in the kitchen, cooking and daddy would come in, pinch her on the hiney and give her a kiss. They were Bu and

Bu Bear. 

7. My dad led by example.  My dad was NEVER one of those parents that had to say: “Do as I say, not as I do.”  My dad did not drink, smoke, or watch dirty movies. He did not lose his temper or get mad. My dad had the patience of Job. My dad never complained or griped. I know a lot of people say wonderful things about someone after they are dead but my Dad TRULY did all these things. He forgave easily and did not hold grudges. My dad never brought up the past.  He truly lived “A soft answer turneth away wrath.” We saw many people attack my dad in the ministry, yell at him, and lie about him behind his back. 

My mom was spicy like me when they first got married and she would yell. My dad never would respond. He would never yell back. He never said anything hateful or cruel. He never responded in anger. His calm manner quickly calmed my mom down as well. Just the other day she was joking that she would try and fight with dad but he just wouldn’t fight back. LOL. My dad even had a “love song” he wrote and sang to her:

“I’m stuck on you like glue and I don’t know what to do

I’m stuck on you like glue and I don’t know what to do

Old Elmer thought he had a secret when he came up with super glue

But he ain’t seen nothing the way I am stuck on you.” 

 

My daddy NEVER bad mouthed my mom. So many couples will go to friends, family, etc. to gripe about their spouse but I truly don’t think my Dad did. My mother is an amazing woman and every year I realize that more and more. BUT there have been times I have gotten upset or irritated with her and off I would go to gripe to Dad about my mother’s flaws and tell him he needed to talk to her. My dad would have nothing negative to say back. He would always defend her and never have anything to add to what I was

griping about. My mom rarely and I mean RARELY ever went anywhere without Dad. He drove her EVEFRYWHERE and that would irritate me to no end. “YOU ARE A GROWN WOMAN!!!  DRIVE YOURSELF!” She would say: “Dad doesn’t want me to!” I of course would not believe her. After daddy passed away someone told me that while her and her husband was going through pre-marital counseling Dad mentioned he wanted to drive mom everywhere because she was his most precious jewel and he didn’t want anything happening to her. There is just something comforting for a child and an adult child to know their Dad 

loves their mom unconditionally.

 

9. My dad protected his family at all cost.  Even from ourselves at times when we did not know we needed it. One of the two times I saw my Dad raise his voice was in defense of me. Anyone could say what they wanted about him but when it came to his daughters and wife he was a total different person. In the early years of marriage with Way it was not always easy. I had painted this fairy tale happy ever after in my head where my husband would love and dote on me and want to spend EVERY WAKING HOUR WITH ME! 

Way and I were learning what it truly was like to live together plus a home and bills and stress at job. It was so easy to lash out at each other when things would become too stressful. One day I had enough!! I packed my bags, took my dog and went to mom and dads. I was leaving! Could not do it! My mom and dad accepted me with open arms. Let me lay in bed between them all night while I cried and raged. They just listened and held me. The next day I went to work. My sweet Daddy called me to tell me he was taking my suitcase and dog back to my house. I said: “NO DADDY!! I AM DONE!” My dad said: “Amber, if you need me 

and mom we are here for you. If you and Way need counseling my door is open. If you just need a hug in the middle of the night I will come. But you are NOT leaving your husband.” I was FURIOUS!!! I hissed: “Daddy you are supposed to be on MY SIDE!” In the most gentle of voices that I hope I will never forget my Daddy said: “Oh but baby I am. It might not seem that way now…but I am.” I went home to Wayland that night and I have to say that was a turning point in our marriage at least for me. Every year it has gotten better, stronger. I feel extremely loved and protected and cherished by my spouse. I would have missed out on 

10. My Dad showed unconditional love no matter what us girls did, what we put my parents through, or the choices we made, my dad has loved us through all of it. Not just SAYING he did but SHOWING it. I knew my Dad would be there anytime, anyplace, anywhere. I never thought twice about offering up my Daddy’s services to anyone because I knew he would do it for me. If Way would have let me there were many of times I said I would call my Dad to come get me / us, though it was 1:00 AM or 3:00 AM….didn’t matter. I knew he would be there. I remember once when I was 19 I decided I wanted taco bell and a Dr. Pepper. I went into

my parents’ bedroom, woke them up & told them I was going. Dad did not want me to go out that late at night so he got up, got dressed and went and got me a taco and a Dr. Pepper. I know if he could have my Dad would have given us the world. 

 

Last night was hard and this morning has been hit or miss as well but I LOVE thinking and sharing all the great memories of my Dad. And from here on out I am going to try and stop asking God WHY but tell God “thank you” because my Dad was rare and me and my sisters were beyond blessed to have such a man in our life.